Victoria's Secret puts on one hum-dinger of a fashion show every year. It is billed as a holiday fete, loaded with A-list celebrities lining the runway and the creme de la creme of the modeling world gracing the stage. It really is quite a spectacle and if you haven't seen it, be sure to set your Tivo next year to record this shit.
I actually do not have a problem with these models. I do not see them as intimidating, whorish, temptresses to the man I love, even self esteem bashers to my fragile ego. I do not see them as any of these things for one reason: they are aliens. There isn't other possible explanation for which such perfectly tanned, toned, tiny tushes all converge on one stage in magical panties with butterfly wings each year. It's like Santa. Some choose to believe, some don't. I believe Victoria's Secret is NOT that she might have a penis, though this has been often speculated. I believe it is the fact that she has a contract with some fierce-ass alien world which transports approximately 20-30 magical female specimens to New York City every November.
These models are skinny, some of them really needing to eat a couple of ham sandwiches and potato chips skinny. They do not have fake titties. (No they really don't. Trust me. I got clearance from the VSATC---Victoria's Secret Alien Transport Committee.) They have death-defying push up bras adorned with disco balls and butterflies and candy. These bras can make anyone's titties look perky and bulbous. Not that they really need to perkify those jugs, aliens tits are perfect. This is not coming from some repressed lesbian sub-conscious for those of you thinking such. I respect the hard work Victoria and her committee of female alien seekers put forth every year. This show never ceases to amaze me.
Some of these alien (cunt rags) have even had BABIES within several months of walking the runway. Wow! How impressive. Their taut, little six-pack bellies show nary a jiggle as they prance like gazelles in their satin stilettos. (I really wonder how these alien assholes have managed to avoid stretch marks..) They giggle and sip their champagne in the hilarious (bimbo) montage of behind-the-scenes banter between all the (twat) models. They are so (stupid) funny!!! One of the newcomers to the scene was so svelte (raging anorexic) that her hip bones protruded from beneath her leather panties. I think her name was Karlie (Bulimitron)? Such a dainty young lady who I'm sure (starved) worked her way to the top. Kudos, Karlie.
Other models whose boyfriends are rock stars or actors strutted their stuff as their significant others applauded loudly. I guess I'd applaud loudly, too, if I was fucking a Victoria's Secret (alien) model. That's pretty significant feat. And what makes a sexier couple than an A-list actor and an alien runway model? I'm not sure but I'm guessing one or two of the Kardashians are trying to figure out a way to whore their way into that scenario. The musicians rocking the runway who aren't dating a VS alien as the (bitches) models walk past them are duped into thinking these girls actually give a shit. Sorry, Kanye, you can sample all the tracks from someone else's music and rap the shit out of a song but Miranda Kerr and Adriana Lima are NOT going to suck your dick. Those bedroom eyes are staged for the camera. And the result of doing plenty of coke before the show. That six pack, as alien as it is, ain't gonna keep itself.
And while we're on the subject, the girls have given insight (through their agents because they are not exactly rocket scientists..) as to what their diet and exercise regiment is a few weeks before the show. Aside from having amazing alien genetics and giving blow jobs to Victoria's Secret VP's, these models are in tip-top shape. Many go on a fruit only diet a few weeks before the show. Three days prior to Panty-Palooza they consume only protein shakes and non-carbonated liquids. What willpower! (Give me a fucking break...) I am so glad to see their dedication as we are subject to their confections of lace and tulle and Spandex and satin underwear and bras no normal woman could ever fucking wear. It gives me motivation (to go eat chocolate) because if aliens ever take over this world, I will be first in line to beg to be transformed into a Victoria's Secret (alien whore) runway model!!! As soon as I meet Santa and he sprouts sequined butterfly wings.......
