I'm a douche bag. You can call me what you will but I sometimes enjoy listening to.....gulp...light radio. There, I said it. Now I don't enjoy every little song they play, I draw the line at John Tesh, Phil Collins, or any Celine. But today I was blown away by my "safe channel" (no racial slurs or F-bombs on this station). It is November 2nd, as in nearly two more months till the jolly fat dude descends down my chimney. So what the hell is going on when they are playing ALL holiday music ("Welcome to your Holiday LIGHT!") from now till New Year's.
So do I boycott? Do I pick an acceptable date to begin embibing on 24 hours of "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (although the latter will forever make me swoon, thinking of Duran Duran, Bono, and Sting belting out this classic little number)? Do I wait till Black Thursday where the insane Walmart shoppers get trampled at 5am for a $50 DVD player to switch my radio over to the Holiday LIGHT? I'm so perplexed.
Every year, in my overzealous talktative way, I lament with other shoppers about all the holiday decorations popping up in stores earlier and earlier each year. I swear it was 90 degrees and I was still in back-to-school mode when I spotted giant inflatable Santas on Harleys and aisles of holiday cards. Bite me, I hate motorcycles and I make my own cards. I am not caving in when it comes to buying all this shit when I'm still sporting tank tops and shorts. Oh, but those baby pink maribou feather mini trees with Swarovski crystals are to DIE for!
Christmas will forever be my favorite holiday. I am incredibly sentimental and nostalgic so it stands to reason. My parents went all out when it comes to Christmas and I am loving doing the same for my kids. Christmas was so much damn fun I STILL believe in Santa, at least a little bit. One year, my parents put a piece of red ripped felt with fur trim in the fireplace doors, as if Santa's fat ass got stuck and his pants tore. They stamped a footprint with soot on the hearth. The packages were all cleverly addressed, from Rudy and the Boys, Mrs. Claus, even Old Saint Nick himself. How can I not lose my mind when the stores bring out the shiny ornaments, cards, garland, and sparkly gift sets?!
My addiction to shopping, coupled with the legitimate need to buy gifts, is a win-win situation in my book. It makes me giddier than Elton John in a feather boa, I tell you. I have to be aware of all public restrooms this time of year because The Curse hits me hard this time of year (please refer to prior post if you don't know what the hell I'm referring to). Lots of calories, alcohol, and bling-a-licious shoes this time of year. My first pair I already purchased is absolutely FABULOUS and I don't even know what I'll wear with them. But that's how I roll, bitches. Shoes first, outfit later. Hell they are so cute maybe I'll go naked. No...don't want to make the whole dance staff vomit at the Christmas party this year...I can't wait. I get so excited about everything this time of year--the baking (and gorging myself silly on Buckeye cookies..), the shopping, the decorating, the crafts, the card-making, the socializing. And apparently there's a radio station who feels the same. Well deck my halls with boughs of holly......
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