Well it has officially happened. My precocious, goofy, studious 9 year-old daughter who has cared less about what I pick out for her each morning (as long as it's not--GOD FORBID!!!--a dress!) suddenly gives a rat's ass. I knew it was merely a matter of time and many fellow moms were shocked it has not happened sooner. She is not requesting Hollister or Aeropostale just yet but it's as if I have leprosy and am missing a limb when I try to pass off a Children's Place outfit.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!! That doesn't even GO together.. It's just not cute, no offense."
Yeah, no offense since I'm the one buying it. Let's see how much you like the Walmart clearance rack, camouflage overall ensemble I picked out for you...
I can recall how much I enjoyed having new, fashionable clothes. I don't remember really giving a damn till maybe 5th grade? My daughter's only in third grade so I thought I was buying some time here.. I went to a catholic school so uniforms were de rigeur for the school year. When we had a "color day" I would be so super excited to wear my new Esprit checkered pants and brightly colored t-shirt. I looked like Boogaloo Shrimp from the movie "Breakin'". In high school I thought it was bad-ass as hell to not wear the same outfit twice for as long as I could. I think my record was 32 days. So far Sophie does not seem to notice if I pass off the same capris twice a week. Sshhh!! Don't tell her....
So currently it is ALL about the peace sign. She has no less than 5 pairs of peace sign earrings, peace sign tank tops and t-shirts, peace sign sandals and flip flops, and even a couple of peace sign scarves. If she suddenly decides it's all about flowers or stars or no symbols at all she can have some masking tape and a Sharpie. My mad creative skills can drum up a sassy themed hoodie just as good as Justice. Probably for about $30 less, too. Justice is "Peace Sign Mecca" currently and I have made the pilgrimage many times to acquire more stuff for my little diva.
She has decided that taking a shower at night is preferred. This rarely happens because it is like pulling an obese kid away from a smoked turkey leg and a Spongebob marathon to make her stop looking at the computer. {As I type this she is mesmerized by a movie which she knows is freakin' TIVO'D so we can replay it.} I now have to blow dry her hair with a round brush with a special straightening cream from my salon. This kid's hair is so thick she could donate it to make 3 wigs for Locks of Love. (Read: a long-ass time blow drying...) When the "poofy parts" and "dumb curls" are sufficiently absent from her mane she is ready. There must be coordinating earrings and socks and sometimes even bracelets. She does not care for makeup (yet) but is still wanting to wear deodorant. I tell her if she doesn't stink, don't wear it. Instead we thought it was a nice compromise to buy some girly Mary Kate and Ashley perfume. I have to monitor perfume application because it can quickly smell like a trashy girl bonanza.. or probably what Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen smell like every day.
Along with the straight luscious locks, coordinating top, shrug, scarf, earrings, capris, sandals, and hair clip there is the most righteous accessory---the pre-teen eye roll. It is nothing you can buy but it is something that gets more and more perfected daily. The eye roll is often accompanied by a highly audible gust of air with a resounding, "Guaaahhhhh!" Occasionally I am privy to foot stomping, door slamming, sister pushing, and the inevitable "MooooOOOOMMMMMM!!!" The bitchy, whiney tone is so incredibly annoying. I feel like a dog being tortured by a high pitch dog whistle. If I am really, REALLY lucky I get the ,"You are SOOO mean!" or ,"You are ruining my life!", or "You HATE me!" or the ultimate, "I HATE you!!" Such special moments should be commemorated by one of those Hallmark cards that cost $7 and plays a song or a funny joke. But I doubt anyone would buy one of my daughter whining about how much I make her so mad. Unless there was a peace sign on the front, then maybe it would be cool.
Shit, it's nightly shower time. My night job as mommy stylist beckons. Where's my straightening cream? I am not getting paid nearly enough for this gig.
2 comments:
Buck up dear. Soon Sophie will be old enough to A) handle her own shower and hair styling needs and B) buy her own clothes, with her own stash of money acquired from babysitting, and kind grandparents. I only offer helpful financial advice, usually in the form of, "I can't believe you're buying ANOTHER T-shirt when you already have 79 of them littering your bedroom floor!" but that is the extent of my involvement. I still have two little boys that I can dress up pretty much however I want. It gets better. Really, it does.
Beth
The girls looked really cute today: Sophie with her coordinating turquoise clothes, Crocs, & turquoise earrings! And then there was Isabella with her cargo capris and personality to match. Their hair was slightly curly, which just made them look really feminine. If they dressed themselves today, they did a really good job!
Mom
Post a Comment