Getting a Little Ink

When I was a senior at Michigan State I decided to get my first tattoo. It was a symbol I designed, sort of resembling a fish but also appearing like an eye, with the spines on the back of the fish also resembling eyelashes. The center part looks like a blue iris of an eye and there is a scorpion in the center. My birthday is in November, I am a Scorpio. It's on my lower back though I got it long before anyone deemed them "tamp stamps". I have often been asked, "What does your tattoo MEAN? Does it symbolize anything special?" My response is usually, "No, I just made the design, liked it, and included a scorpion since I'm a Scorpio." The typically elicits very unimpressed responses. I don't give a shit. I don't judge you because you DON'T have any tattoos so don't judge me!

About a week ago I went with Sultan and another couple to get some more tattoos. Since my original one, I have gotten astrological symbols for me and Sultan, Sultan's name in Arabic, as well as the word "family" in Arabic on my wrist. I saw a really cool pineapple on a pack of pina colada Orbit gum and thought, "That would be a cool tattoo!" I enjoy going on warm, tropical vacations. I like pineapple. I liked the dot-inspired design I found. End of story. I am sorry if I don't have some crazy-ass soliloquy to explain WHY I have ink on my body.
"On our church mission, we rescued a young boy from a raft in the ocean who was fleeing the hardships of life in Haiti. His home was destroyed in the earthquake and he has full-blown AIDS. After we rescued him he lost his foot in a freak moped accident. Then he was struck by lightning. Twice. After this happened he suddenly spoke fluent English. Through home-schooling I discovered his intelligence level was far beyond what a normal 8 year-old's should be. He has now progressed to the 9th grade thanks to my Christian-based teachings. And THAT is why I'm getting the Haitian flag with Jesus Christ Superstar on my chest."
Can't I just think my fucking pineapple looks cool?

Tattoos are not for everyone. They hurt. It is not like getting an exfoliant or a pedicure. If you are a pussy who cries when you get a paper cut, don't get a tattoo. And I get it, "It's on your body FOR LIFE!! Are you sure you want to look at that pineapple when you are an old lady?!" Yes, I am sure. I don't give a flying shit if they are considered trendy. I like the tattoos I already have. I have a couple more I am thinking about getting, too. I am not crazy. I don't want to buy a motorcycle, pierce my nipples, and abandon my family to work at Kat's tattoo shop on "LA Ink". I am not getting my face tattooed, I am not planning on getting a swastika or "Fuck you, Mother Fucker" on my back. What's the big deal?
"EeeGADS!! You have TATTOOS?! {GULP}.. How MANY?" I am not in a Satanic cult, I do not practice witchcraft nor do I care for goth music. I live in the burbs, I walk my kids to the bus every morning, I don't have any weird part of my body pierced. But so what if I did? Does that change who I am? Nope. I'm just Jivemommy, the ballet-teaching mom who enjoys saying the F-word, listening to Erasure from the mid-80's, and my favorite color is still hot pink. And I have a kick ass pineapple tattooed on my left foot JUST BECAUSE.