I have two words for any mother of two children or more who has let themselves go by gaining "a little baby weight"...Heidi Klum. I just watched my TIVO'd Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I contemplated eating some chips while I watched but I refrained. Heidi Klum has had three children, all within a few years of each other. That crazy bitch has a figure to stop traffic. I have never dabbled in the tuna trade but man she is a hot piece of ass. What the fuck she is doing with Seal, I cannot explain. Must have a large stick of chocolate love in those pants.
I love this fashion show. It does not make me mad. The thing I remind myself of is that these waifish ladies are actually aliens. There is no way God naturally made 50 women this perfect. No cellulite. No wrinkles. Perfectly tanned. Perky tits. No ingrown hairs from their Brazilian wax jobs. White gleaming teeth. Flawless complexions. And this is broadcast in Hi Definition so you can't fake this shit. The only non-alien is Heidi Klum. Who has shot three babies from her poon in less than four years. She can bounce a quarter off her abs or her ass, you pick. No alien would willingly choose to do Seal. Sorry but that's all the proof I need she's human. Granted, she's freakishly CLOSE to perfect but at least she motivates me to eat better and do 150 crunches while I watch her prance with her sequined wings down the runway.
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