So I THOUGHT I Could Dance

I have a really cool husband. He has taken me to see the American Ballet Theater when they performed in Chicago. He actually enjoys watching a little show called So You Think You Can Dance. We went last year and this year (see photo from November) to the live tour. He always comes to all the shows Sophie, Isabella, and I dance in as well as when I have dancers perform my choreography. The crazy thing is I didn't even dance for fun when Sultan first met me. My passion for ballet had long faded as well as my fondness for leotards. And you know how much I enjoy a nice leotard so that is crazy.

When I studied dance seriously it was really just ballet...like 5-6 days a week ballet...in a leotard and tights and slicked back bun. I was a bunhead nerd. But my little posse of girls and gay guys who smoked and refused to eat or purge everything over 150 calories (I'm exaggerating a bit here..) were just like me. I feel like there's nobody like me when it comes to dance "style", which I apparently have none of anyhow. These days there is so much hip hop that has mainstreamed its way into popular culture. It's in music, TV, movies, commercials, even ads for McDonalds. Have you seen the kid bust the Cha Cha Slide with his Apple Dippers and boom box?! I piss myself whenever I see that one. There was no such thing as hip hop when I danced as a teenager. Now as a grown 30-something mom, I feel quite silly trying to do it.

Don't get me wrong, I really want to dance like Justin Timberlake or Beyonce. They have some kick-ass moves. I just lack the rhythmic abilities to execute a proper booty pop. I think my inability is probably 80% mental but it prevents me from even trying. I have tried the prescription known as "getting really fucked up". This is not a cure, no matter how many shots of Patron I think will transform me into an MTV video goddess. My friend, Nicole, flattered me immensely when she chorographed a dance that gave me strict jazz to perform, though the class was labled "Adult Jazz and Hip Hop". She made me look good but I suppose if I was coerced, I would have to pop and lock to Usher. Thus far in my life and dance "career" I have not had to be confident or well-versed in anything other than ballet.

It's pretty bad when the kids I teach actually laugh at me when I even do a move that's jazzy, not even hip hop. "Miss Molly, you just make me laugh when you move like that!!" Grrrr. I am doing my best people, just don't look at me and make me feel like Elaine doing the thumb dance on Seinfeld. It's not a seizure, I'm not retarded, I'm just a white suburban mom who wants to get her groove on. Now stand back, they're playing my song...