Well Excuuuuuuuuuuuse Me!!

On Friday night my neighbor decided to show his true colors and call the cops on us for having a member of my little soiree park 3 inches over the line of his driveway.. Get a fucking life, you trashy piece of shit cop. He came to my door, blowing cigarette smoke in my face as he asked if the owner of the car in question could move it because his wife's mom was coming over. And??? Is she a drunk and can't drive into your 17-foot-wide driveway without that extra few inches? Did he think my friend had to give up that space because it was more convenient for HIS guest? Fuck that. It's public property, the ENTIRE street, and my company can park wherever they damn well please. My friend moved her car and asked if that was enough for him. He told her, "Next time I'll have it towed!" Classy, my friend, really classy. So she had no choice but to flip him off--that's right, meet Super Finger, you douche-cock. Well he started it with his snide remark! Don't ask for a mess of bullshit if you can't take it!!
So I would just get over something like that, wouldn't you? Nope. Calling the cops is more second nature to him, like taking a dump with his Sunday paper I guess. And we graciously welcomed the Good Ol' Boys Club into our neighborhood. Is there some sort of code with fellow cops? Can you just call when something bothers you even though you know, being a cop yourself, that there is no violation at hand?
"Yeah, I'd like to complain because my neighbor has this INSANE party going on and one of her guests gave me a DIRTY LOOK. I'm pretty sure she's in violation of code 367, paragraph C. Could you send a squad car over right away?"
So with the history of our loving friendship, we got into it in their driveway. He of course claims he never swore about my bush but he DID call the cops about our lawn. Is your pathetic life REALLY that boring that you have so much free time to monitor and worry about your neighbor's grass? Was that car REALLY violating your own personal space so much that you needed police involvement? REALLY? I think I'm going to send them a big box of Soduku, Monopoly, some free passes to Brunswick Zone, and a gift card to Panera to get them the fuck out of their house and perhaps encourage them to GET A LIFE. Do something else other than stand in your garage with binoculars, contemplating what exactly the neighbors have done to piss you off today.
Now I have to go enjoy this day, OUTSIDE of my house. Have fun cutting your grass with your toenail clippers, Ass Clown. I left the ruler for you to measure my bush at the end of your driveway. If the ruler isn't up to code, I'm sure you can speed dial the cops to check up on me. Leave me a note. I'm kinda busy.