Grape-A-Licious

I have a new obsession. I am certifiably addicted to the color purple. It is my go-to color of the season. Summer was all about yellow for me. I carried my delicious patent leather yellow bag around religiously. I was sorely disappointed when they were sold out of the matching sandals. Bummer. But now it is chilly and I am all about purple. It is bordering on obnoxious. I am starting to look like Barney's bastard love child. Not good.

I have 5 purple sweaters, from eggplant to grape to burgundy. I have a purple sweater dress and matching grape suede boots. (These are so damn hot I couldn't help myself.) My friend scored me a sexy metallic purple giant handbag. I prefer some sassy new purple shades of OPI nail polish such as "Louvre Me, Louvre Me Not" and "Catherine the Grape". Purple nail polish can border on goth freak so I need to be careful.

I find this liking slightly ironic. Several years ago my brother dated a less-than-likable individual who was pretty adamant in her dislike for the color purple. Who am I kidding, she was a psycho-ass bitch who had more baggage than Tyra Banks during Fashion Week. I was guilted into giving her a Christmas gift which I decided to make myself because I am freakishly crafty when I want to be. I made beautiful notecards with hand-stamped dragonflies and a matching candle that I melted the dragonfly image directly into the sides of with my heating gun. They happened to be shades of purple. She had the she-balls to actually relay via my brother that, "For future reference, purple really isn't my color." Whore. For future reference??? I'll tell you what I would refer to....her ass which was the size of a pregnant water buffalo. When you are mean, arrogant, hate my children, AND have a giant booty it makes it VERY easy for me to hate you and not even feel un-Christian for doing so.

I wore a black sweater dress to church today and tried to pair it with funky purple, black, and red tights and my grape suede boots. I think I looked like a Halloween hooker from Party City with the looks Sophie gave me. Fiiiiiiiiiiine then!!! I carried ONLY my purple purse but felt mismatched and awkward. I think I might start snorting grape Kool-Aid.