Snow Days

I fucking LOVED snow days when I was a little kid. Nowadays we get a phone call and an email from the district letting us know school is cancelled. Back in the day we would sit feverishly inches away from our grainy-as-shit 16-inch TV screen, waiting to see the name of our school scroll across the bottom. Jackpot!!! I never really knew how my parents felt about snow days. I mean, it's not like there was anything they could do about it. We were home, they had to watch us, that was it.

As a parent now I have a slightly different perspective. I hear that phone ring and I cringe. Together-time is mandatory today. This means plenty of fighting. It means kids going in and out, in and out 157 times, tracking snow all through the hallway. It means making hot chocolate at least 14 times. It means trying really, really hard to not duct tape my daughters' mouths shut as they bicker and tell me how mean I am for not letting them stay outside for the entire day so their frostbitten lips and cheeks fall off.

I am a tad layed up right now. I have been sick and I just had some minor surgery. (Scar repair and a couple other things...) My mom is here helping me out. I somehow agreed to be the head party mom for Isabella's classroom. That means I have to contact the other mommies who are helping with the parties. I have to figure out games, a craft, and treat bags. If you read some of my prior posts you know my lamentation about those damn treat bags. They can't have so much as a Tootsie Pop in them. No candy, no sweets, no treats. Part of this "Health and Wellness Plan" which bans anything fun for classroom celebrations. Whatever. I ate home-made cupcakes and had candy bags out the ass all through grade school and did I end up an obese hog with 8 chins? Nope. But I will get off my treat bag soap box.. So I am dealing with all my own personal health issues, knowing full well in advance I absolutely cannot be there for this holiday party. I call one mom about 5 times to no avail. I plan a clever craft for the 1st graders and hand die-cut 30 felt glitter Christmas tress, I score some cute non-food prizes for some games, I buy decorative plates and napkins for the pizza snack, I buy the makings for a fun relay game, I make 30 NON-GOD-DAMN-CANDY treat bags for all the kids. I plan on passing this off to my neighbor who will bring all the shit I can't even be there to see to school for this kick-ass kiddie party. Then Illinois has a crazy-ass ice storm and school is cancelled. Fuck snow days, I am angry. You'd better bet that after break, I will be there with bells on and maybe even a Santa hat to celebrate this damn party I tried to pull off even though I couldn't even be there. Suck it up, 1st graders, it's time for some ho-ho-ho-ing!!! God damn snow days...