Sultan and I visited New York City last week. I don't know what was more enjoyable--staying in a hotel and sleeping as late as I damn well pleased or being away from my kids for three full days. Love my kids, love them even more when I've been gone awhile. The city proved to be full of characters, from the completely crazy to the smelly drunk variety to the bitchy waify sort.
We observed a most interesting bunch in front of our hotel, the Four Points Sheraton in Chelsea. Upon check in we were given a letter apologizing for the group of people gathering in front of the hotel. Huh? Could you be more vague? What people? This group did not make themselves known to us till the next day. That's right...protestors. There was a group of about 8-15 people of all ethnicities, holding union signs, chanting with an amplified megaphone, and passing out "I'm Pissed Off At Four Points " flyers. In itself, not so bizarre. The totally freaky part came in the form of a giant, inflatable rat. That's right, a 15-foot-tall rodent with big, black, buck teeth and beady red eyes. Not exactly something you find at the company that rents your five year-old's bouncy house for the backyard birthday.
"Welcome to Ricky's House of Inflatable Protest Animals!!! We rent giant rats, Rottweilers, bats, rattlesnakes, and middle fingers in all skin tones. We give your protest that true SCREW YOU statement you just won't get with yelling and chanting! Rent one inflatable and get a strobe light 'UP YOURS' sign for free!"
The even crazier part was that the concierge told us most of the protestors don't even work for the hotel. What?! So why are they protesting? Oh, because they are protestors for hire. You can rent them out for birthdays, bar mitzvahs, and union protests. No shit. So on your lunch hour away from making copies for your boss, you can earn a cool hundo by holding a sign and chanting "I don't know but I've been told...{insert shitty union-violating company name}'s pay rate smells like mold!!" And if you possess a creative bone to come up with clever chant and happen to have some pipes that can belt out protests for a few hours, more dinero your way, baby. There's a job for everyone out there.
This experience has proved to me one thing. Don't tell me you can't find a job. There's plenty, don't be so God damn picky. If McDonald's fry cook isn't your style, operate the Inflato-Tron to blow up that protest rodent. And on your lunch hour you can tell that company that they're violating your human rights by not adhering to union laws...okay, well SOMEBODY'S rights.
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