Pierre, The Panty Raider

My dog can often be seen running around the house with a pair of panties, either mine or the kids', in his little mouth. Typical male, I know. If I am doing laundry I literally have to cover the top of the basket with a towel. What's the appeal? Having me chase him around yelling my fool head off? Does he actually ENJOY chewing the crotches of dirty undies or toes of stinky socks? Nasty. My dog is demented but I know most dogs do this. I am glad I am not a dog. I can think of 349 better things to chew on than dirty panties. Wouldn't you rather munch on a rawhide chew, a Milk Bone, some kibble? But no, instead you favor to savor my dirty, sweaty socks, dirty undies from anyone in the house, or even your own turds. Connoisseur of fine taste you are not. But then I am perplexed when you stalk me like Kirstie Allie at a cheese and chocolate buffet whenever there's meat on the table. THAT makes sense--slow-roasted turkey, a nice pork roast, even steak. But you are the same 9 pound little guy who thinks rabbit turds on the lawn are Milk Duds from Heaven. I must remember your eating habits when you try to lick my mouth when I pick you up. Otherwise it's like I'M licking my dirty undies....Ooogh..I think I just threw up a little in my mouth..