Skip It

I went to the gym this morning. Then I got so angry I literally walked out. That is pretty unheard of in my world. Especially since I did not get the opportunity to work out either Saturday or Sunday. I am in an adrenaline deficit right now that is making me downright bitchy. I want to use the F-word more than usual, let's put it that way.

When mentally planning my workout week I try to think of which classes I will take and when. I really want to take Spin tomorrow so I thought I would get my weight training equivalent in with a CRT (Cardio Resistance Training) class. The instructor on Monday's is like the Jonas Brothers of the gym so you have to get there early. Apparently today I needed to just spend the fucking night at Lifetime Fitness last night cuddled next to my spot.

I get my kids on the bus by 8:30am then I enjoy the rest of my coffee, check email, and head out. I got to the gym by 9:05am. This always provides me with adequate time in which to secure a space in the studio, get my bench, weights, and mat. Not today my friends! I opened the door to the studio and it was FULL. We are talking 40 plus fucking places taken. I am sorry but there is no way in holy hell that all these bitches are actually present for class. I look around and probably swore about the quantity of people. One woman actually BOASTED that she had set up 7 benches for her friends. SEVEN COCKSUCKING BENCHES. Are you fucking serious, bitch?????? Let me get this straight, your friends expected you to get to the gym early enough to prepare their workout spaces so they can enjoy 20 minutes of Oprah, a Starbuck's latte, and maybe even a morning quickie with their hubby and stroll their nonchalant asses in at 9:27 with everything all hunky-dory and waiting for them? That is a crock of stinky, runny horse shit if you ask me. And yes, I am still fucking pissed about it. If your entire fucking book club, mom's club, and playgroup cannot get their slow-as-fuck asses to the gym in time to set up their own shit, then FUCK THEM. Some of us who actually leave early to get there might enjoy a space. I can see saving A space while ONE friend takes a piss or calls you and is stuck in traffic. I will pummel your greedy ass to the ground if I come next week and see the classroom filled to capacity and only 5 women standing around. Fuck you, I am getting there at 4:30 am and I am using every weight, band, bench, stripper pole, and mat I can get my paws on. See whose heart rate gets to zone 4 now, you hairy twat bags.

Needless I say I was so irritated that it blew my mood entirely. No IPod, no momentum to do hip hop. I vented to anyone who said hello to me (sorry if I seemed like an angry lunatic, just REALLY needed that workout today...). So instead now my bedroom is really clean and organized. I have had more than what is probably legally allowed in Starbuck's Verona roast coffee consumption. (I am typing so fast there is smoke coming from my keyboard.) I think my anger and frustration has burned an equivalent amount of calories had I actually been blessed enough to find 12 square inches of space in Studio I today. I guess IF I manage to have that happen next week I will need to do a happy jig like I am being rescued off a desert island by Brad Pitt. If the "Save-A-Bench Squad" shows up, beware. I will bring a REAL load of horseshit for their benches. See who wants to stand next to that.