The Wave

Do any of you drive a Jeep? There is a familiar wave Jeep drivers give each other. Sometimes it's a full-on hand wave, sometimes it's just a few fingers raised in a mini salute, sometimes it's a peace sign. It's a little "Hey there, I'm drivin' this awesome Jeep just like you! Rock on!" hand gesture. It just makes you feel good that there's this small camaraderie on the road. Good times.

Now not all of us drive a Jeep. I think there could be a multitude of ways to express ourselves to drivers of similar vehicles as we pass each other on the roads. Wouldn't the world be a more warm and fuzzy place to drive? But what to do when you drive something other than a Jeep....

If you are a mini-van-driving mom you can do the pulling the hair out of your head gesture because you are carpooling 7 Girl Scouts to Build-A-Bear.

If you are driving an El Camino you can do the Mullet Smooth Down where you graze your "party in the back" locks with a brush of your palm. All the sexy chicas are diggin' your bad-ass look.

If you are driving a Hummer H2 you will flip off other mega-SUV drivers off because you're saying a big fat "Fuck you!" to the environment for guzzling all that gas. Who gives a shit because your car can eat my car!

If you have a Lexus, BMW, or Mecedes then perhaps you just flash your Cartier emerald-cut diamond ring or bling-a-licious Chopard watch to validate not needing to wave. Fuck you, I can buy five of your cars.

If you have spinning rims and hydraulics then everyone will hear you coming with your tricked out stereo pumping so there's no need to wave. Your booty pumpin' bass busts everyone's ear drums. We know you're there, fuckface.

If you are driving a hybrid smart car then you can do the "recycling toss wave". This can also be accompanied by a peace sign. As soon as you put your water bong down, Bob Marley.

If you are driving a big-ass pick-up with a vinyl deer decal or any NASCAR paraphernalia crapping up your bumper then do the redneck wave in which you take your thumbs up sign and point to the back of your neck. Jesus take the wheel....

If you ride a bike to work then you just better hold on for your dear fucking life because all of those car-drivers don't give a shit about your right to the road. Let's hope those padded-ass shorts (which I own and wear when I ride my bike) protect your hide when you hit the dirt because Hannah Hummer H2 (could be a porn name...) will force you to eat gravel when you go down in the ditch. Not sure if she was texting or giving her middle finger to another SUV.

I say we should all drive Jeeps. Our wave is far less complicated. But being an El Camino-driving mullet head IS quite appealing....