I am so fucking sick of everyone thinking their kids are entitled to trophies, traveling sports teams, modeling gigs, dance solos, student of the week, and even fucking presidential fitness awards. Some people are winners and some are the losers. It is how life works, get a fucking helmet and get used to it, bitches. Not everyone can be on the team. Wanna know why?? Because then we have a team of 6 decent players, 4 mediocre ones, and 10 that stand and scratch their nuts or pick their noses or cry like little bitches because they don't REALLY want to play or work hard. They just want to wear the uniform and get the golden trophy all 20 asshole players get at the team banquet because GOD FORBID anyone fucking get their feelings hurt at the end of a season. I call bullshit.
My kids don't play sports. They are not interested and frankly, because I sucked as at any an all organized sporting activities that involved running, nets, or moving balls, I'm guessing they inherited their sporting skills from Mommy. My kids are dancers. I teach dance. We eat, sleep, and breathe dance. Dance is athletic as shit but I do not believe it's a sport--it's an art. I'd say they are pretty damn good at it but this was not a result of them being shot from my cooch doing a pirouette into the splits. I prodded and pushed and coerced and eventually they gave enough of a shit to work hard and and now they are good. And like it. I am not one of those crazy-ass stage moms who is fat as shit, who never got her turn to be in a tutu because the physics of the proportion of weight in her body in relation to the width of her toes in relation to the support of a pair of itty bitty satin pointe shoes never computed into anything less than a size "hefty" costume and sprained ankle. I encourage, I praise. I do not expect them to make every company, land every role, get chosen for every specialty dance routine that's ever put on. Why?? Because just because they are my hell-spawn does not mean they are perfect. Even in my eyes.
Sometimes it's tough to be objective when looking at your own child. You see your child as perfect, having all the necessary skills and strengths. Be realistic people. Your kid is not Superman. I was rejected from plenty of dance auditions. But it gave me good experience and made me tougher. If your kid doesn't make it into a team or whatever they are trying out for, it does not mean the teacher/coach hates them, is racist, or is a fucking asshole. Maybe your kid just isn't ready yet. It's a fact of life and the sooner we accept this, the better our kids will turn out. Does it teach them good lessons for life is EVERYONE makes it?? If EVERYONE gets a 1st place ribbon?? If EVERYONE gets the grand supreme tiara?? Nope. Because in the real world you get promoted by blood, sweat, and tears. Okay, there will be certain unethical situations where a friend or relative helps you get a job. But don't go sleeping with the boss to move your way up in the ranks, that will bite you in the ass quicker than having Lindsay Lohan or Winona Ryder as your personal shopper.
Maybe your kids IS great. Maybe they are some freak prodigy who can sing like a bird or run like a gazelle or catch balls better than Ricky Martin at a pride parade. Good for them. But maybe they suck. Maybe they are awkward and trip over their own two feet or despise you for making them try a sport YOU were star player in. Face it, it's not in the cards for them. Hang up the cleats or ballet shoes, maybe they're be good in art. Or playing an instrument. Or maybe they'll live in your basement until they're 35, playing video games, eating Doritos, you'll be doing their laundry, and they will never get married. Sorry, had to give you a grim reality check. Get that kid off the damn couch to do SOMETHING!!!!! I'd rather have a kid who is excellent at playing the trombone and drawing comics than whining at the pool because he is bored, tired of swimming for 6.2 minutes, wants another ice cream, and has moobs.
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