Dickwad Cat

I am currently painting Sophie's bedroom. We have chosen pale turquoise on top and waves of darker turquoise on the bottom. It is a sea theme and will have glittery whitecaps on the waves, seashells, and Hawaiian decals of surfboards, palm trees, and more. I promised we would do this project over the summer and seeing we have one week till school starts, I guess it's about time. So my friend at Home Depot hooked me up with all I need to paint. Primer, paint colors, brushes, tape, rollers, stirrers, and canvas to cover my floor. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

I have completed a coat of primer (dude told me two but screw him. I'm pretty sure he's on meth so it's EASY for him to do 10 coats of paint..). I did two coats of pale turquoise and one coat of darker turquoise on the bottom. Sophie has been so eager to help. I spread the canvas on the ground for a very small section of wall, only about 3 feet wide. I still grew impatient as she slowly dipped her brush and spread the paint in strokes on the wall. I heard a faint "Meow" as I realized my orange tabby cat, Issey, had ventured into the room. He likes attention and will resort to annoying tactics to get it. Before I knew why he had come to make his presence known, the little bitch-ass stretched himself in a full stride, paws resting up on my freshly painted wall. God damn. I figured this out only AFTER I saw his telltale turquoise pawprints trailing down the carpet in the hall. Grrrr. I was pissed. Thank God it was wet so I could clean it up. This damn animal is almost 13 years old but will clearly live to be 22 just to spite me with his ass licking, hairball projection yacking, and general annoyance factor. Does anyone need an orange fur pelt for winter?