I think that E! has managed to pipe crack smoke or meth or something through our TVs to get us to not change the channel when The Girls Next Door comes on. The three girlfriends, Holly, Bridget, and Kendra, are, hmmm, not the sharpest tools in the fucking shed? I mean not to be blunt but if you look up "white trash" on Wikipedia you will find a picture of Kendra will her shirt pulled up, showing her baseball-shaped titties. If you have ever watched the show (shut up, I know you have..) you know she has a fetish for exposing her tits and ass. And for laughing like a raging jack-ass. Bridget is really sweet, bless her heart, but she just has one of those personalities you know you could fuck with. Like tell her some outrageous lie like I have a dick and am really a plumber named Hank and she would believe me. She babies her dog, Wednesday, and I am pretty sure her mom dropped her on her head as a baby. Holly is blonde ambition personified. Her hair is so white it's almost translucent. She was so desperate to marry Hef it was sad. Like when you see Tara Reid so wasted that she doesn't know her boob has come out to party with her. Poor Holly, I think the only reason she referred to Hef as "Puffin" was because that was the noise she heard once a week when he had to use his penis pump to bulk up his teeny peeny.
We wasted 2 hours of our lives last week when we decided to watch the movie "Housebunny". It had a fun premise, a Playboy bunny leaves the mansion and becomes a housemother of a local college sorority. TOTALLY believable. Plus it starred Anna Faris, comedienne diva of slapstick humor a la Scary Movie genre. Stupid funny entertains my simple mind sometimes. I will warn you now. Do NOT watch this movie. It is not funny, even the bits that are supposed to be over-the-top are plain fucking dumb. Can I sue the director to get those lost two hours of my life back? I would have rather gotten a colonoscopy with Tobasco, let's put it that way.
Now Hef caught wind of Holly secretly dating illusionist, Criss Angel. The real illusion is how the hell she faked a relationship with a grandfatherly old man who wears silk bathrobes for clothing. And then had to share his shriveled love sausage with two other women? Really now. So Hef did a girlfriend re-vamp. Bye-bye, Holly, Kendra, and Bridget. He has ushered in a set of 18 year-old twins along with another blonde playmate. Three more girlfriends to share that Playboy sugar daddy love. If they attempt to make a show involving these new hoochies, I kinda think I'll pass. As painfully stupid as it was to watch Kendra try to convince Roberto Cavalli that Olive Garden is better than any restaurant in Italy, Girls Next Door entertained me. Those new bitches may have moved into my three favorite bimbos' boudoirs but my heart is still with my Girls. Kendra, you had me at "Yo! Yo!".....
1 comment:
18 year olds. That's sick, even for Hef.
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