I am presently arguing with my 8 year-old about why she needs to finish her dinner. She claims she is "so full I'm gonna puke!!". I think she's full of shit. See, in about 10 minutes our babysitter will be here. I tend to buy yummy snacks for our sitters---popcorn, chips and salsa, pull 'n' peel licorice, Pringles, soda. You get the picture. She know that those yummy snacks will be accessible as soon as we head out the door. I am so fucking OVER struggling over finishing meals. Screw it, eat a God damn bag of Jolly Ranchers, a whole can of Pringles, and 3 cans of Fresca. I am over giving a shit. Why is everything a fucking argument in my house!!!!????? I know, "Gee, Molly, you haven't even hit the teenage years. Just wait!" Yeah, I wait in eager anticipation like I await a full-body wax after growing my shit out for a full year.
Two weeks (plus one day thanks to a freak ice storm which made school get cancelled) is a really, really long time for kids to have completely unstructured days. I am so ready for school to be back in session I wish it started 3 days ago. Every morning the bickering gets just a little bit worse. It's like having a giant boil zit on your forehead. It starts as a painful underground spot that throbs but no you can't quite detect it's there yet. By the next day there is a little red mound that REALLY hurts. By day three it is bulbous and shiny and throbbing like when Tom and Jerry hit each other on the head with a large mallet. This is what I liken my two daughters' behavior to over the past few days.
Screaming..
Poking...
Hitting..
Tattling..
Yelling...
Arguing...
Sassing....
Talking back...
Having the last word...
Bitching..
Whining....
Calling me a liar, the worst mom ever, super mean, etc..
Wanna do a kid swap?
School will resume Monday. The girls have not only been staying up like they're rockstars (they're not, despite Sophie's current status in Guitar Hero..) but they have been sleeping in like them, too. I admit, maybe staying out with us on New Year's Eve till 2:30 was a bit excessive. Don't worry, it was at our friends' HOME not at Coyote Ugly downtown. We're not shitty parents. Just mean, lying ones. They slept in the next day till 11:40. Whoops. Now I need to sleep train them as if they were babies, getting them back on schedule. Easier said than done. With earlier bedtimes comes more whining, negotiating, bitching, moaning, and tears. This mom gig does NOT pay enough.
I am going to pack their damn lunches now and set those backpacks by the front door. They might not be ready to hit the books again but I sure as hell am!! Do you think I could just drop them off now with a sleeping bag and a couple of extra blankets?
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