Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Let Me Get This Straight

I learned yesterday where a massive amount of money went after being squeezed out of American tax dollars for "stimulus money". AIG, a prominent insurance and financial services company, was given $170 million in bailout money from our generous US government. Here's the kicker--AIG has used millions of those dollars to hand out BONUSES to employees who were promised that money before the company, along with so many others in this cesspool economy we are floating in, really hit the skids.
As American citizens, we get taxed on every miniscule thing we buy, make, and do. From tampons to tobacco to Tae Kwon Do, there is nothing in our lives that we don't owe Uncle Sam something for. Uncle Sam is like that super annoying relative who your mom always makes you acknowledge with a hug and kiss when you are little, though you hate their guts and secretly hope they die. You still have to man up and do it because Mom will beat your ass if you don't. But God damn it, it really sucks.

So "Mom" is now the government. I can't not pay taxes. So I give Uncle Sam a nice fat perverbeal kiss by forking over my hard-earned money in large chunks. I have no choice in the matter but man does it suck donkey dick. I feel like I am on a blind date with the government, they are wooing me with wine, flowers, and a lobster dinner full of promise. When I'm not looking they slip me a rufie in my Pinot Grigio and I wake up in a seedy motel room and have a vague recollection of something called The Anal Intruder. But maybe that's just my subconscious talking here so I digress. The part I am having difficulty with is knowing exactly where my hard-earned dollars go.

BONUSES?! Are you shitting me? These people are getting rewarded for screwing up, really for FAILING at their jobs. And these bonuses are to the tune of $1000 to $6.25 MILLION. For being a fuck up. I wonder if they're hiring....

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