I'll Be the Judge of That

I was a good Catholic mom on Sunday when I took Sophie and Isabella to church. I chose the 10 a.m. mass because often times they have a Children's Chapel in which the kids go off to hear an age appropriate rendition of the first and second readings and the gospel. There are some days I'm so perplexed by the antiquated concepts of the Bible that I could use a Children's Chapel to help me understand how the heck this applies to me, a mom living in the suburbs in the year 2008. Cliff notes, anyone?

Now I will preface our little "adventure" by saying there has been a giant poster in the back of church showing a tiny fetus and declaring something about the right to life. I get it. We're Catholic. Thanks for the graphic representation. Sophie has asked me several times what it means and I told her I would explain later. It's not that I DIDN'T want to explain it, I sort of forgot about it and I sort of didn't want to get into the gory details, since she is only 7 years-old and still hasn't asked where babies come from yet.

We had a visiting priest, an occurrence which ordinarily excites me because a fresh priest is often entertaining and brings a new spin on our usual Sunday mass. He was visiting from Pennsylvania and although currently his name escapes my memory, I will call him Father Mc-Save-the-Fetus. After the gospel, which had nothing to do with babies in any way, Father stood at the podium and began his homily. He began lecturing us on abortion, the murder of unborn babies, how we should protest killing centers such as Planned Parenthood, how we should volunteer our time at crisis pregnancy centers, and how we really need to teach young unmarried teens about abstaining from sex. He talked about responsibility in voting. If we chose to vote for a candidate who is pro-choice we were wholeheartedly supporting these murder facilities. All this and more was verbally pummeled at us for more than 35 minutes. Surely I could have not been the only parent whose jaw was gaping at these inappropriate topics.

I am sitting next to my five and seven year-old daughters. This has not a damn thing to do with Catholic beliefs. This has to do with MY RIGHT as a mother to decide when is the appropriate time to discuss these things with my kids. Sunday was not what I had planned. I almost walked out of church. No one else seemed phased, and there were LOTS of little children who are old enough to listen but young enough to not have to know what "baby murdering" is. I was seriously pissed off. Our religious education director told the parents of children who will be making their first communion in May that skipping church is a mortal sin. I would have wholeheartedly committed my mortal sin without a second thought had I known what was in store for me. Give me a freakin' break.

I try really hard to be a good person, a good friend, wife, mother, teacher. I try to pray and instill the values of faith in my kids. I do not need extraneous details of my faith, that I don't deny are important, shoved down my throat. This is exactly why I had a hard time with the Catholic church and did not go to mass for a long time. My bother calls us "cafeteria Catholics". I sort of pick and choose what I believe. God loves me no matter what, right? If I lead a good life and try to do the right thing I think that is most important. I take birth control. I am not going to hell because of it. I have many gay friends who are really awesome people. Some of them even go to church. Guess what, God loves them just as much as me.

I will keep going to church on Sunday because it makes me feel good. I wrote a really bitchy e-mail to our pastor, voicing my anger over Sunday's sermon. I am grateful that my kids did not ask any questions about what Father was saying, they only complained about how long it was. No shit, long and outrageous!! I only hope the next time this topic is considered topical to talk about in church, there is a warning to parents AND a Children's Chapel scheduled. Because you KNOW it won't be the only time this shit is brought up in church. Mortal sin to protect my kids from things appropriate for 11 and 12 year-olds? I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much.