Sake it to me, Baby!!

Sultan and I really enjoy sushi. Here we are at Sushi Samba Rio 2 weeks ago, a great Brazilian-infused sushi restaurant in Chicago. And next to us is one of the items we ate. Teeny little baby crabs, fried whole, then served with a hot and sweet glaze. More crunchy than I had imagined but delectable. Little bits of shell were caught in my teeth and gums, like shards of fingernails. I doubt even my youngest daughter, Isabella, who eats salmon sashimi like it's her job, would have sampled this fare.

I never really even enjoyed seafood that much growing up. We ate a lot of red meat, from what I remember. I became a vegetarian because I wanted to love all little creatures and it was the cool thing to do when I was 15. I didn't touch meat for a long-ass time, probably 10 years. Eventually I caved in for chicken and I do enjoy pork now and then. I still don't care for beef. It's sinewy, fatty texture makes me gag. A travesty as an American who misses out on all the cuts of beef those cattleranchers slice up for us. You can eat my share if you'd like.

To this day, my dad would claim fish is gross and bordering on chick food. I told him he won't grow tits from eating it. NO dice. My mom digs the shit. I tell her we're having salmon for dinner, a dish our macaroni and cheese addict, Sophie, eats with almost as much gusto, and she gets all jealous. The only way my mom gets fish is if it's her birthday, if my dad accidentally mowed over one of her carefully tended flower patches outside, or if they're at a restaurant where my dad can order the pot roast and a nice Scotch.

I recall going out for sushi in Chicago maybe 6 or so years ago. I couldn't even stomach a California roll, which is just veggies and seaweed. What a pussy. I was Miss Chicken Teriyaki. Now I favor the Maki rolls, loaded with enough raw fish ingredients to be sushi, but jacked up with fun sauces, and crunchy things like fish eggs or crab legs. Yummy!! Soak up a nice puddle of soy and wasabi and I am like a pig in shit. Wow, that sounds so classy... I will maybe sample the sashimi but won't order an entire plate of it. But if you bathe my throat in enough cold, dry sake I might eat anything. Tuna nipples? Shark asshole? Bring it on Long Duck Dong!!!