Paper or Plastic?

I have to admit something. I hate recycling. By letting you all know this I fear the Recycle Police will come to my house, on their non-fuel-emitting bicycles, and arrest me. They'll cuff me with handcuffs made of conflict free bamboo harvested by pandas who chew it down for them.

Oh I recycle all right, soda cans, plastic bottles, cardboard boxes. The trouble is I have a lot, and I mean a LOT of recyclable materials that accumulate in a week. Sometimes I just have to say, "Fuck it! I'm going to hell! I can't recycle one more damn thing!" and have to throw some shit out because I literally can't fit one more can in my three allotted recycling bins provided by the city. How much shit can I recycle for Christ's sake?!

And I have to agree with my husband in questioning the legitimacy of the whole process. Okay, so they drive a "recycling" truck, they wear different jumpsuits. But do they handle my items that I'm assuming will turn into other, new plastic soda bottles or soup cans from what I lovingly placed in those blue bins any differently than the garbage men? Nope. They chuck all my shit together as if it were good ol' trash into their truck. We aren't required to sort it, there are no specifications as to how my crap goes into those bins. Is there really a person who sits and sorts through that shit?
"Oh, here's a soda can mixed in with glass bottles! And a cardboard cereal box, too. Silly people! Let me place those in their proper place.."
Bullshit. I think it just might be a big fat hoax we are buying into. If someone has video footage of how this process works, or doesn't, bring it on. I feel duped right now.

Many places are now "going green" by opting to offer customers cloth bags (for purchase) to schlep their groceries or other items from the store. IKEA even CHARGES 10 cents per plastic bag if you don't want to invest in a reusable bag. Here's 50 cents, I use those bags for my cat shit. Thanks, have a green day!!!

I'm sure the day will come not long from now when it will be mandatory to use those cloth bags. We'll have electric cars and our toilets will freeze dry our turds and piss and shoot them into space so we don't waste any water. We will all have giant compost heaps in our backyard that our kids will sled down in winter. And you will find me, secretly dumping my cardboard boxes, plastic bottles, and even a few cans because for the love of God, I don't give two green shits any more.