Well, Thursday was back to school for the girls. I was a WEEE bit excited so I did not attend the "Boo-Hoo Tea" the PTA had organized for moms and dads in the library. I attended my own "Spank My Ass and Call Me Shirley!" soiree with a couple shots of Cuervo and a Ron Jeremy pinata. Seriously now, I was happy to see them off. Sophie claimed it made her sad when I expressed my joy over the start of school. I pulled something out of my ass in the way of, "It's not that I want to see you go, it's just I'm so excited for you to meet new friends and begin another year of learning!" Did that sound believable? Let me just express again my level of excitement for school to start...
-Imagine Kate Moss being asked to do a photo shoot for Versace in Moscow. When she arrives she realizes the snow drifts are big mounds of COCAINE!
-Picture Angelina Jolie in a Vietnamese orphanage. She is told she can have as many kids as she can fit into her duffel bag, like bulk candy at the grocery store.
- If Britney Spears is told she can have all access to the Palms Las Vegas with a Red Bull and vodka fountain, giant three foot bongs loaded with better weed than Snoop can get, two nannies for her kids, and NO PAPARAZZI!
- If Katie Holmes is given a new identity, a one-way ticket for her and Suri to Cannes, and an escape clause from her "How to Love a Short, Gay Scientologist In Three Easy Years" contract
- What if Victoria Beckham is told she can eat AND smile without anyone seeing her?
-Imagine Rosie O'Donnell is asked back on to the View to beat the shit out of Elizabeth Hasselback with a hot glue gun and Donald Trump's hairpiece on primetime TV.
So this sums up my mood this week.
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