Bad Language

Don't try to order ice cream in line with families when you are thinking of sex. I told Isabella the list of toppings she could choose from at the Hershey's store downtown. I said, "You can have Oreo's, Kisses, chocolate chips, Reese's PENIS butter cups..".Ooops...I couldn't stop laughing for about 10 minutes. I am so juvenile. It's like when someone says the word "wiener" around my kids. They lose their minds with hilarity.
I grew up around plenty of profanity. (Thanks, Dad, and I mean that with true fucking sincerity.) I find it tough to be around people who can't even say "crap". A favorite oldie but goodie to me is "God-damn-son-of-a-bitch" which has to be uttered loudly and with the speed of a bad run-on sentence. I have tried many times to at least omit the F-word from my dirty vocab. That is really, really hard for me. Tried giving it up for Lent. Lasted about 10 minutes. Swearing is like breathing to me. You know how some people talk with their hands? I HAVE to curse. If you don't like it, you can excuse yourself. I will not swear in front of your kids or the dance classes I teach..But get me around my friends, able to vent, give me a couple of margaritas and look out.
I really get excited when I meet someone and they use the F-word with me on our first encounter. This shows me you are really cool and I can be real with you. I was really psyched (God, it is so clear I went to high school in the late 80's..) when my friend , Molly, who I especially like because of her kick-ass name, said "fuck" in one of our first conversations. Loved it!! I am bad sometimes, I do swear in front of my kids. It has only bitten me in the perverbial ass a couple of times. They know not to say, "Why the FUCK can't I have a pack of gum, you crazy bitch?!" when we are checking out at Jewel. But Sophie did utter, "I can't do this FUCKING homework!" one night when I had been on the phone, ignoring her for more than 3 minutes. And Isabella added, "Here's your FUCKING blanket, Sophie," once day when Sultan was home. Oops. My bad. At least I don't have to play sleuth detactive like the mom in Christmas Story..."Now WHERE did you hear that word??!!"