Sunshine Day

My friend, Michelle, inspired me to relive my fascination with the good ol' Brady Bunch. Would you just take a glance at Mike Brady. Was there ever any doubt he MIGHT be a little gay? To let the writers dress him like Elton John's disco lovechild while he was SUPPOSED to be the adoring husband and father to his kid posse..I think I can see his cockring with rhinestones through those camel toe-licious pants. And white shoes, too?! Carol is apparently on plenty of shrooms, just look at her expression. She just puts one of her many wiglets onto her dildo and spaces out so hardcore that it actually becomes Mike, her definitely NOT gay husband. Who wears a white patent leather belt. And legwarmers. Oh poor, poor Alice. Let's get real here. She was the Brady Slave. They put her in that horrible blue dress, which she probably had to make out of some of Mike's old jiz-stained sheets. She cooked all the damn time. Did you ever see her eat? Not even in her 6'X6' room! I think maybe she hid in Tiger's doghouse when he was out doing the humpty dance with the neighborhood Lassies. Sam treated her like crap. He loved his meat but not like Alice could have. I think Carol told Alice there was a "Meatcutter's Ball" on one of her PCP benders just to make Alice smile and bake some more God damn cookies for those pigs. I'll bet MIKE attended a "Meatcutter's Ball"...and a Teabaggers Ball....Greg was a perv. He wanted to bone his mom 'cause she was a groovy chick. His hair looked more and more like Richard Simmons every season. With his song skills NO ONE was getting laid, let me tell you. Marcia is literally humping his back in this picture. I bet she was into hardcore porn shit, in between brushing her hair 100 times and dreaming about kicking Jan's ass. And I mean like submission, gag balls, wearing furry monkey suits, and candle wax on the nipples. I don't buy her squeaky clean persona, you know she shaved Greg's name in her cooch. Peter and his changing voice. My voice would crack, too, if I was secretly the lead in "The Crying Game". It's hard to sing like a manly boy when you've got a smorgasbord of genitals. Now THAT'S a party in your pants! When it's time to change it's time to rearrange....unless you're wearing that new Victoria's Secret thong. It's hard to tuck a set of balls, even gumball sized ones, up in there. Jan...where's the brown afro wig? Is it just me or did she walk with a stick up her ass? Maybe it was one of Marcia's butt plugs she came across. She was just whiney and annoying. Bobby is blatantly admiring his dad's double knit slacks and his muscle-baring shirt. No, Bobby, they don't sell that at Sears with the Garanimals collection you wear. You have to be 21 to shop at "Pickle Smoker Pete's House of Nipple Tassels and Men's Fine Clothing". Cindy was a little sissy bitch. Those curly pigtails were so close to Nellie Olsen's from Little House on the Prairie that I hated her no matter what she did. And was she a complete exhibitionist with those short skirts?! I'm THuper THweet and I don't wear any panteeTH! But then again, when your mom is whacked on LSD it's hard for her to remember that's it's time to switch out your size 4Toddler dresses when your 10...